Learn Chinese_qingke

Author: caren_zuo Date: 2006-12-05 08:35

by Caren Zuo

It was around twelve and I was planning to go out for lunch. Then my cell phone rang and I picked it up: "Hello Caren, this is Andy, have you eaten? How about having lunch together? "

I was happy to get his call. He is an English guy whom I have known for two years. I learned that he took a short-term language course to improve his Chinese, for career purposes. We agreed to meet by the entrance of the Library of the Beijing Language and Culture University library.

After saying hello to each other, I took him to the restaurant where I usually went.

"wo3 qing3, bu4 yao4 he2 wo3 zheng1." I said.

"Bu4, wo3 qing3 ni3 ba0! " He replies.

"bu4xing2, wo3 yi1ding4 yao4 qing3 ni3." I thought he came to the place that I worked, and I was the host who should treat him to a meal.

"Hao3ba0, wo3men0 AA. Wo3 bu4xiang3 qian4 na4ge4." I knew his "na4ge4" meant "ren2qing2". It’s a common word that Chinese like to use. If you do me a favor this time, I will not ask to be repaid immediately, otherwise our friendship will be questioned. But you know that you owe me a ren2qing2 and you will remember to repay it in due time. This is how the Chinese practice of qing3ke4 works. Friendships become stable through qing3ke4.

Qing3ke4 is very important in China and there are various occasions for doing it. For big occasions, there are wedding ceremonies, funerals and baby’s birthday celebrations. As for smaller occasions, there are work promotions, moving to a new house or a farewell dinner. Aside from these, there are business dinners, among business partners or governments officials. This is where most relationships are cemented or deals finalized.

Who will mai3dan1? It depends. For the lunch with Andy, I know his cultural background, so I chose to follow his suggestion. Actually, "AA" is becoming popular among youngsters and before they even meet up, they already know that they will later on split the bill. Therefore, no one will have to argue over who says “jie2zhang4,” meaning mai3dan1.

There are also some established norms for certain situations. One will mai3dan1 when—the company or government will pay for the expense, one is the party’s host; one is a man; one is wealthy.

Usually, people already know who will pay the bill, so they are not going to vie for the mai3dan1. But sometimes there isn’t a tacit agreement as to who will mai3dan1. Take the following situation: several old friends haven’t seen each other for a long time and meet up to have a dinner. At the end of the meal, each one will pay to mai3dan1. It doesn’t matter who eventually does pay, but the process is very important, for it reflects good friendship and respect. But there are also exceptions, like people who have mastered this process very well and always manage to avoid ending up with the bill.

Words & Phrases:

请客 qing3ke4

买单 mai3dan1

结帐 jie2zhang4

Dialogue:

我请，不要和我争。wo3 qing3, bu4 yao4 he2 wo3 zheng1.

It’s my treat. Don’t say another word.

不！我请你吧！ Bu4, wo3 qing3 ni3 ba0!

No, let me treat you!

不行，我一定要请你。bu4xing2, wo3 yi1ding4 yao4 qing3 ni3.

No, it’s my treat!

好吧，我们AA. Hao3ba0, wo3men0 AA.